The kids were still heavily engaged in the program and several parents stood around watching and waiting. At first, I paid no attention to the young mother in the tight jeans that stood to the left of my husband. Then, I caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye.
The way she was smiling and looking at him sparked suspicion in me. For the next 10 minutes, I silently observed the two of them subtly flirting with each other as I dutifully stood by his side. I told myself that I was over-reacting but when I saw his eyes follow her to her car, I knew. He was checking her out.
I waited until we were home and dinner was on to confront him. I remained casual as I asked him if he was checking that girl out.
‘What girl?’ he replied.
‘That girl you were checking out,” I said.
‘Ahh, was it that obvious?’ he asked, more disappointed that he had been so obvious, not that I caught him or that he hurt me.
‘Thanks a lot,’ I said I as returned to the kitchen.
After a few minutes, he came up behind me and put his arms around me. He tried to brush it off with statements like, ‘All men do it’ and ‘I wasn’t flirting with her’. I felt humiliated.
We live in a small town and the woman works in a shop that we frequent. I now have to face her knowing that she and my husband shared a moment together, as innocent as it may have been. I dread running into her.
I didn’t focus on it too much that evening but as the night turned into the next day, I became furious with him and myself for having a reaction at all.
My husband is attractive and fit and I accept that women would want him. He works in an industry that requires him to have close physical contact with his customers and I had to let go of jealousy and fully trust him long ago.
Now, an element of trust is gone. I’m not naive enough to think that he never lusts after women but to do it if front of me? That shocked me but I did not want the indiscretion of his to weigh down our marriage. Even though I was hurt, angry and humiliated, I knew I had to get over it.
The next day, after arriving home from taking our son to school, I confronted him…again. Of course, I worried that he saw her at the school but I didn’t mention that. I did tell him that I was pissed off. He had a ‘what do you want me to do’ attitude and I knew I was on my own to get myself out of my misery.
I stood at the kitchen bench feeling as if my marriage could plummet if I didn’t reach down and grab hold of it. He was sitting on the 2-seater couch when I walked over and straddled him. I was sure flirting with someone else was strictly about sex. I whispered some expletives and kissed him. He reciprocated.
That session triggered a dormant passion I have for this man. Although I cannot get his hurtful message off my mind, we have been more affectionate and close since the episode. I just hope he doesn’t think flirting with others is the only way to induce a love fest at home.
Have you ever caught your man looking at another woman. How did you react?