“How my celebrity crush changed my life”

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By Maz Durbin

Posted on September 7, 2012

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I distinctly recall my first crush. I was 6 years old and the object of my desire – yes, desire is the correct word – was a TV character called Buck Rogers (a little Freudian perhaps?) who hailed from the 25th century. A man clearly ahead of the curve.

Many times since I have felt the heart-palpitating thrill that comes with a crush, and many times the thrill has died of natural causes. Recently however, a crush has had a surprising and transformative effect.

In preparing for this article, and out of genuine curiosity, I conducted a painstaking analysis of my various crushes over the years and then synthesised the data. Here is a summary of my conclusions:

87% of my crushes have been on men who possess the following characteristics – they are tall, wickedly funny with above-average intelligence and are usually a respected authority in their area of expertise.

The only physical requirement it seems is height. Aside from that, what they look like rarely matters. No, my crushes are intelligent, critical thinkers who pursue excellence in their chosen endeavours and can make me laugh (with the exception of Buck Rogers – I don’t recall him being particularly amusing).

As a result, on the odd occasion when I have revealed the identity of a crush to a friend, the reaction has often involved a rather unpleasant facial expression followed by “Really?”

On a side-note, my crushes are rarely sexual in nature. I am a confirmed tragic-romantic and as such my fantasies involve simply being swept off my feet. My witty banter delights my imaginary paramour. We talk, laugh and share our life stories. And then…well OK, there’s probably sex. Good grief, I am human after all.

Which brings me to my current crush, a gentleman (a descriptor yet to be quantified by any real evidence mind you) by the name of Seth MacFarlane (Google him, you know you want to). And yes, he seemingly ticks all of the above mentioned boxes that have characterised my previous crushes – tall, fiercely intelligent, a critical thinker, witty, reportedly hard-working, ambitious, and, unusually for me, actually handsome.

I had been vaguely aware of Mr MacFarlane existing and honestly never gave him a second thought, kind of like my mailman. Then about 6 weeks ago, purely by chance, I stumbled on an interview on YouTube and any pre-conceived notions I had about him were dismissed. Before I knew it, I was watching more videos, reading articles and, infinitely worse, internet gossip. Oh dear…

The more I read and watched, the more I wanted to know, and on some level, the more I was starting to think “He is the perfect man.”

How could I possibly think that about a man I have never met, and am not ever likely to meet? In the course of my clandestine ‘research’ I had managed to assemble some facts, some opinions (and probably some completely incorrect information) and connected these virtual dots to create a harmless fantasy almost completely devoid of reality.

And here’s the point about crushes from afar – they are played out in our lovely heads and are complete fiction. Which is absolutely harmless, up to a point. A crush can give us a kind of hope, a desire to improve an aspect of our lives, pursue a new life goal or re-energise an existing relationship.

Maz’s crush

In part, by projecting our own, perhaps dormant, personal traits and characteristics onto our crush, we may actually be holding up a mirror to ourselves. I have come to recognise, with much greater clarity than ever before, that I am ambitious, hard-working, intelligent and witty. Yes, it’s actually all about me!

Unknowingly and without lifting so much as a finger, Mr MacFarlane has brought about a radical change in my thinking about my personal life and the direction of my career. Well, that and the application of some good old-fashioned logic and reason by me. Still, pat yourself on the back Sir.

And so, his work is done. Which means of course the thrill of my crush will fade and join the ghosts of crushes past. Although, if I’m honest, Seth MacFarlane will always hold a special place in my…brain?

Now it’s your turn. Who’s your past or present celebrity crush? Have any of your crushes changed your life?

Why not share this?

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Maz Durbin.

With a background in business management, graphic design, textile homewares design and retail Maz has converted her love of fashion – that started with her first issue of Vogue at the age of 15 – into fashion blogging. She is also mum to three moggies, LOVES a really good cup of tea, chocolate finger biscuits, and anything made from tweed.

Website: http://sassenfras.com/

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  • http://www.thedullroarphilosphy.blogspot.com.au Jessiebean AKA Thrifty Mama

    Another Seth McFarlane admirer here. One celebrity crush I have wich has lead to a positive change is Alistair Appleton. turns out he is not just a gorgeous witty charming lovely stylish (oh and openly gay of course) man he is also a teacher of Mindfulness meditation. I really enjoy his writings on Mindfulness and feel that they have enriched my life for the better.

    • http://sassenfras.com/ Maz Durbin

      Hi Jessiebean, thank you for sharing your crush. I’m curious, do you think your crush as come about by projection or is it pure and simple attraction? I’m off to Google Mr Appleton now by the way…

  • http://www.twitter.com/lipglossmumma Jodi aka Lipgloss Mumma

    An interesting take on celebrity crushes. I can’t say I know much about Seth McFarlane (had to Google him!) sorry.
    I think my crushes are very much more superficial and yes play out a lovely fictional fantasy in my head. They tend to be based more on looks than anything else (see superficial). My favourites are Josh Charles (Good Wife) and Rob Thomas (Matchbox 20), although I could make a list if you like…. lol

    • http://sassenfras.com/ Maz Durbin

      Hi Jodi,

      There’s nothing wrong with a good old-fashioned superficial crush! Do you remember Josh Charles as a wee lad in Dead Poets Society? Adorable. And yes! I’d love to hear some more of your crushes!

  • http://Www.copingwithjane,com Jane Cooeland

    He, he-Buck Rogers was my crush too. Growing up Michael J Fox and Michael Jackson were favs too. I haven’t thought about it before but I think you’re right, crushes are a but of a projection. For example, I fancied Mr Big for a while but it was probably because I wanted to be him-weird!

    • http://sassenfras.com/ Maz Durbin

      I’m so glad there is someone else who remembers Buck Rogers! No doubt some crushes are based purely on physical attraction, but there’s clearly some psychological explanations as well. Mr Big hey? A definite dish, well when he wasn’t being all anti-commitment and such!

  • http://www.thedullroarphilosphy.blogspot.com.au Jessiebean AKA Thrifty Mama

    Maz, a bit from Column A and a Bit from Column B, he reminds me of Sebastian from Brideshead revisited who I had a terrible crush on when I read the book as an impressionable teen, except Alistair comes across as less decadent and more worthy…and he is very pretty.

    • http://sassenfras.com/ Maz Durbin

      I am also a huge fan of Brideshead Revisited! Sebastian is such a tragic character, and Anthony Andrews was the perfect actor to play his part in the TV series for Granada. Pretty indeed, you can see why Charles Ryder feel in love with him x

  • sarahrahrah

    Thank you for this article, I’ve been mulling this over for a few weeks after reading something similar regarding crushes being a projection. My current obsession (not going to lie!) is Jeremy Renner. I first noticed him a couple of years back in a ‘he’s cute’ capacity, but in the past 12 months or so his career has skyrocketed, and after watching and reading everything I can about him, so have my silly feelings.

    He’s talented, funny, handsome (in a non-conventional way I guess, he seems to divide opinion, but then I am known to have a pretty odd taste in men according to my friends!), hard working, passionate, focused, renovates houses, rides a motorcycle, plays guitar and piano, sings beautifully (seriously, YouTube it), and has a fantastic body. That last one is a bit of a curveball for me as I’ve never been one for the abs and bicep appeal, but here I am, ogling his gorgeous arms (The Bourne Legacy damn near killed me…). Basically he’s my perfect man – well, the version in my head that I’ve stitched from what he talks about publicly is. Oh, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt more…ahem…lusty about anyone in my life.

    Sitting down and having think about all this made me come to the realisation that yes, this guy is perfection, but those qualities are ones that I want to improve in my own life: I want to work harder, spend more time being creative, take risks. So I’ve picked up the guitar again, finally booking in for my driving test (I’m 29…), focusing on my health and exercising more. Possibly most significantly I am reevaluating a long term relationship that I’ve felt has run its course for a while, but I’ve been to unconfident to let go.

    Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not doing any of this because I think it might make Mr Renner sweep me off my feet should we ever cross paths; I’m not deluded! But he’s opened my mind and heart up to making changes that will benefit me in the long term and helping me realise what I value in myself and others. So thanks, mister ;)

    • http://sassenfras.com/ Maz Durbin

      I absolutely get where you’re coming from. I find the process of self-analysis fascinating and I love that your own experience has informed where you want to be in the future.

      I particularly like your last comment about realising what it is you value in yourself and others. That’s the basis of your own personal mission statement right there.

      Now you are taking steps to achieve the things you want to, have you noticed your feelings change at all? Let me know if you’re happy to.

      How wonderful is it that an unlikely crush can result in such positive life changes?

      Thank you for sharing your experience. And by the way, Jeremy Renner? He’s all class, and I’ll be sure to check out that singing voice of his.

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