“How my celebrity crush changed my life”
I distinctly recall my first crush. I was 6 years old and the object of my desire – yes, desire is the correct word – was a TV character called Buck Rogers (a little Freudian perhaps?) who hailed from the 25th century. A man clearly ahead of the curve.
Many times since I have felt the heart-palpitating thrill that comes with a crush, and many times the thrill has died of natural causes. Recently however, a crush has had a surprising and transformative effect.
In preparing for this article, and out of genuine curiosity, I conducted a painstaking analysis of my various crushes over the years and then synthesised the data. Here is a summary of my conclusions:
87% of my crushes have been on men who possess the following characteristics – they are tall, wickedly funny with above-average intelligence and are usually a respected authority in their area of expertise.
The only physical requirement it seems is height. Aside from that, what they look like rarely matters. No, my crushes are intelligent, critical thinkers who pursue excellence in their chosen endeavours and can make me laugh (with the exception of Buck Rogers – I don’t recall him being particularly amusing).
As a result, on the odd occasion when I have revealed the identity of a crush to a friend, the reaction has often involved a rather unpleasant facial expression followed by “Really?”
On a side-note, my crushes are rarely sexual in nature. I am a confirmed tragic-romantic and as such my fantasies involve simply being swept off my feet. My witty banter delights my imaginary paramour. We talk, laugh and share our life stories. And then…well OK, there’s probably sex. Good grief, I am human after all.
Which brings me to my current crush, a gentleman (a descriptor yet to be quantified by any real evidence mind you) by the name of Seth MacFarlane (Google him, you know you want to). And yes, he seemingly ticks all of the above mentioned boxes that have characterised my previous crushes – tall, fiercely intelligent, a critical thinker, witty, reportedly hard-working, ambitious, and, unusually for me, actually handsome.
I had been vaguely aware of Mr MacFarlane existing and honestly never gave him a second thought, kind of like my mailman. Then about 6 weeks ago, purely by chance, I stumbled on an interview on YouTube and any pre-conceived notions I had about him were dismissed. Before I knew it, I was watching more videos, reading articles and, infinitely worse, internet gossip. Oh dear…
The more I read and watched, the more I wanted to know, and on some level, the more I was starting to think “He is the perfect man.”
How could I possibly think that about a man I have never met, and am not ever likely to meet? In the course of my clandestine ‘research’ I had managed to assemble some facts, some opinions (and probably some completely incorrect information) and connected these virtual dots to create a harmless fantasy almost completely devoid of reality.
And here’s the point about crushes from afar – they are played out in our lovely heads and are complete fiction. Which is absolutely harmless, up to a point. A crush can give us a kind of hope, a desire to improve an aspect of our lives, pursue a new life goal or re-energise an existing relationship.
In part, by projecting our own, perhaps dormant, personal traits and characteristics onto our crush, we may actually be holding up a mirror to ourselves. I have come to recognise, with much greater clarity than ever before, that I am ambitious, hard-working, intelligent and witty. Yes, it’s actually all about me!
Unknowingly and without lifting so much as a finger, Mr MacFarlane has brought about a radical change in my thinking about my personal life and the direction of my career. Well, that and the application of some good old-fashioned logic and reason by me. Still, pat yourself on the back Sir.
And so, his work is done. Which means of course the thrill of my crush will fade and join the ghosts of crushes past. Although, if I’m honest, Seth MacFarlane will always hold a special place in my…brain?
Now it’s your turn. Who’s your past or present celebrity crush? Have any of your crushes changed your life?