It’s all too easy to involve yourself in a situation only to realise afterwards that you needn’t have been involved. It’s easier than you think to remove yourself from other people’s drama; you just need to take back your own power.
I often find myself offering a shoulder to others, giving them comfort in a difficult situation, showing concern if I sense someone is upset or uneasy. The problem with this is, sometimes I find myself getting involved on an emotional level in others people’s problems. This would be fine if I enjoyed drama…except I don’t.
A year ago I had a conversation with my best friend about handling difficult friendships. She uttered four powerful words that stuck in my mind and have since become my mantra. “Take back your power.” I was dumbfounded at its simplicity and authority. In the midst of my dealing with a difficult friendship, I had done the one thing that was detrimental to my own wellbeing – I gave someone else power over me.
The situation was simple; this person had an issue with me. What had started off as their problem became mine. I had allowed it to become my issue by engaging in the drama that ensued. The minute I took back my own power and stopped being concerned with their issue, the problem was no longer mine. I disengaged, showed no interest and made it clear that their issue was of no concern to me.
The problem with people that thrive on drama is that given the power to, they will create and feed drama over the simplest of scenarios. You know the type of person I am talking about, we all do. If you are someone who prefers to avoid drama, you simply need to either eradicate such personalities from your world, or not give them the opportunity to drag their drama into it. It’s really that simple.
So how do you take back your own power?
Firstly, you need to realise that you are not responsible for others. What others do or say is not in your control. If someone has an issue with you, it is their issue, not yours. You cannot alter the opinions of others, nor can you govern how they act or speak. You can however control how you react to those actions around you.
By not taking on drama created by others, this includes not engaging in drama-fueled conversations, you remove yourself from the situation. The problem is no longer your problem; the drama is no longer your drama. Giving others power to drag you into their problem only creates drama for you. By regaining your own power you remove permission for others to dictate how you should act/think/behave. After all, don’t you want to act/think/behave for yourself?
How will others react when I no longer engage in their drama?
Going back to what I mentioned earlier, this is not your issue. You may find more dominant characters persist as they find it hard to understand why you are no longer engaging, but stand your ground. Eventually even the most persistent person will get it. Be confident, hold firm onto your own power, and even the most dominant character will have no say in your actions. Don’t engage; remember, this is no longer any of your business.
Will this make me appear uncaring?
Obviously there are circumstances where you want to be involved in unfavourable situations. We all want to be there for our nearest and dearest during difficult times. By removing yourself from the unnecessary drama of others, you actually free yourself up emotionally to be there for the ones you sincerely care about. By giving less attention to negative presence you are able to give more attention to those who value your attention, the ones that wouldn’t bring drama into your world to start with.
Once we take back our own power we have confidence to apply boundaries in situations we are not comfortable in. Our actions become our own and we feel less pressure to be involved in unnecessary drama belonging to others.
Are you caught up in some negative drama you need to shake off?
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