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Surprising reasons why women date younger men


By Jane Copeland

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Is dating a younger man the new black? More and more women seem to be doing it. Women choosing partners ten years younger has risen by 25%, according to the ABS.

Those that do have become commonly known in pop culture as Cougars. Central to Cougar-hype is the younger man’s desire to date an older woman. This is being driven not by sex as you would think, but by the increasing appeal of the emerging Ubercat.

The new UbercatThe modern day Cougar is most certainly Uber. Confident, affluent, with a certain boom chicka wah wah, most of these Ubercats don’t even consider themselves a Cougar. As Management Consultant, Sarah, 40 and currently dating a 28 year old man noted, “I found I was being hit on by younger men more and more. It’s not something I ever saw myself doing, however there seemed to be an obvious smaller pool of older men around. Initially I had a problem with dating a younger man, but now it’s very normal and I don’t even think about it although I don’t really see myself as a Cougar”.

This sentiment is mirrored by small business owner, Michelle, 41, who unintentionally ended up in a relationship with a younger man. “I was using online dating and was inundated by the contact from men in their twenties. I reluctantly went on a date with one of them. Surprisingly it went well and we are now dating. If the media says I’m a Cougar, I’m an accidental one.”

Why now?

EconomicsA growing number of sociologists say there is a real demographic shift going in and the change is driven by the choices women are making as they redefine the concept of a suitable male.  Australian author and Sex Therapist Jacqueline Hellyer, believes change in the economic element of relationships is key.  “In the past because women couldn’t support themselves, they had to choose a partner who could support them. This meant choosing an older man who was wealthier and more advanced in his career. These days women don’t need to choose a man who is wealthier that them, because chances are they can support themselves.” From the couples Hellyer sees daily at her practice, she confirms that relationships on the whole are more equal these days.

Lifestyle changesWomen are earning, spending, and influencing at a greater rate than ever before. Other factors such as women delaying child birth, greater numbers of women in the workforce and increasing divorce rates mean that there are significant lifestyle changes effecting women.

Thirty-nine year old diamond wholesaler Kylie, notes that changes in her life has seen her redefine what she looks for in a partner. “As a divorced single mother I’ve had my kids so I’m not looking for a man to have children with. Where I wouldn’t have previously, now I would date a younger man.”

The revised planFor some women, dating a younger man wasn’t initially the plan.

This was confirmed in a 2010 study conducted by Dr Michael Dunn, from the Department of Psychology at the University of Wales Institute, Cardiff. The study revealed single women were almost universally found to be looking for men around their own age or older. Dunn was reported as suggesting that the Cougar trend may not exist. History would prove otherwise. Women are dating younger men, even if it is not what they intended.

No rulesWomen who are surprised to find themselves dating a younger man can do so with confidence and know they are not alone. Madonna is at the top of her game and happier than ever. She’s also dating a younger man. Being an older woman does have its perks. Lifestyle changes affecting women mean that the old rules don’t apply. “Take away those rules and then the world’s your oyster,” says Hellyer.

Image: from here

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Jane Copeland - to view all of Jane's blog post click here

Jane Copeland is an Australian entrepreneur and head of The Business Made Beautiful Academy – an online business school for women utilising her unique Next Top Coach ™ System. She is also a digital marketing authority, publisher of the award winning blog and author of the book Boardroom to Baby. Jane's obsession with internet marketing and her teachings, have helped many people across the globe to stand out from the crowd and redefine their version of success. Learn more about Jane’s programs here.

  • Beth Jordan

    Well I wouldnt say dating a younger man, but seeing may be the more appropiate word. I met the guy on a dating website several weeks ago, he had asked me at least 3 times to meet in person and I kept saying no, the age difference is too big (he is 16 years younger than me), anyhow for some reason the third time he asked me I decide to say yes to meeting in person. So we made our arrangement to meet and that date hasnt arrived yet but we have got together twice so and we still intend on keeping our oringinal date

  • Hello,just wanted to tell you,I enjoyed this post. It was inspiring. Keep on posting!

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