It always seems to take more than we expect. More time, more resources, more commitment, more focus, and a willingness to step out of the shadows and say,
‘Here I am world. I am valuable. I have something to offer.’
But here’s the thing, no one is going to do that for you if you’re not already doing it for yourself. Your Mum might try but she probably has her own ideas about what your life should look like and it may not match your own.
Did you want to be with a successful man? You’re not alone. Too often we look for the answer in others. We look for successful men because we want to be associated with success. I’ve not yet met a woman who dreams of being with a ‘loser’. The thing most women forget is this; when you feel successful in yourself, what your partner does for a living, what he wears, what haircut they have, the size of their bank account – all becomes irrelevant. It doesn’t grate on you that they’re not more successful because you’re not looking for them to fill you. You’re enough as you are.
For most of us, the search is constant.
The search outside of ourselves for that one thing that will finally mean we can come to rest because we’re living happily ever after.
Perhaps you want the babies, the house and the dog.
Perhaps you love working for an amazing company which you hope tells people something about you when you mention you work there.
Maybe there’s an agent or publisher you want to be associated with because it tells other people something about you…something you want them to know… that you matter.
We tell ourselves we need these people, these circumstances. That without them, you can’t be happy.
What we are really saying is this,
‘I’m not willing to revel in my own true worth. I need someone outside of me to confirm my value in the world.’
Here’s another option: start believing in yourself. Start speaking your truth. Start celebrating how truly amazing you are.
Then watch people clamour around you. Looking to be associated with you.
The happy ending you’re looking for is never about other people. It’s always about you. It’s about how willing you are to back yourself.
We all have a drive to be more authentic, more creative, more courageous and more powerful. We have this drive because this is why we were born.
No one is ever going to represent you better than you represent yourself.
Now get going!